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2. I made a commitment to myself when I was in tenth grade to not drink soda for a month. I realized and was trying to acknowledge that I had an addiction to Coca Cola for my whole life and I wanted to make a change. I decided that if I stopped drinking soda for thirty days then I would lose my dependency on it. Since soda was around a lot, my mom drinks it all the time, and there were opportunities at get-togethers, it made it quite difficult. Mentally, I really craved it and just wanted it because it was nice to have with meals. I didn't like the bland water I was drinking but after a few weeks of making it through I started actually enjoying the water and feeling better. I got through the commitment I made and I was really proud of myself.

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1. My most challenging course is College Algebra this semester. The subject itself is probably my toughest. Ever since easy math went away it has been my biggest struggle with school, until Physics came along. The fact that it's a hybrid class probably doesn't help. I don't like how much information I have to learn and that it is not easy stuff to comprehend or remember. I like visual things and being able to see facts and phrases but math is all conceptual. It's so hard for to me to ingrain it in my brain.

2. Next time I take this course, I will do a regular face-to-face class and try to pick a different teacher that more understands my needs of students like me.

25

B. I am off course in college. I was planning on graduating with my AA in May of 2016 but because I am failing my math course that is no longer possible. In order to get off course I need to reevaluate my plans and figure out what the best choice is for me. I think I may apply to UCF instead of getting my AA and see where I can go from there. The lesson the University of Life is trying to teach me is to learn to adapt to different situations and not give up completely.

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My Personal Rules for Success in College and in Life

1. Be on time.

2. Study with others. 

3. Don't procrastinate on homework.

4. Keep a planner for all your assignments.

5. Start on bigger assignments early.

6. Prioritize by doing the harder things first.

7. Ask questions when you are lost.

8. Ask for help from your peers.

2. I like my rules, I think these will help a lot in my success for college and life. My rule that is most important to me is #4 because keeping a planner and writing my to-do's and assignments really keep me on course and helps me not forget what I have to work on next.

23

IG: In what area of your life are you off course?
Me: I'm not learning the stuff I want to, like web design.
IG: Would you like to say more about that? (Expansion)
Me: I feel like I'm often busy doing other things and I'm scared I won't do well with it.
IG: What self-defeating thought patterns of yours may have contributed to this situation?
Me: I think they are other people who are smarter and better than me at this so it feels like it could be a waste.
IG: Why do you think that? (Clarification)
Me: I've always grown up being insecure with myself at least a little, and I have a constant confidence level to where I feel like I can't achieve things.
IG: Interesting. A lot of people go through that insecurity. What different thoughts could you choose to get back on course?
Me: I could choose to think and remember that I have a nice goal at my age and not many people know exactly what they're doing or what they want, and I do have some experience that I need to just build on.
IG: What self-defeating emotional patterns could have contributed?
Me: I get worried and nervous when projects seem to big or the stuff seems to complicated. I'm not sure if I could do it.
IG: So you want things to always be clear to you.
Me: Yes. It scares me when I don't get something.
IG: That's understandable, but it is all part of the process. Everybody has to go through learning. What different emotions can you choose?
Me: I can choose to be thankful for knowing what I want to do and happy that I have great resources to do it.

22

1. One self-defeating behavior pattern I have is that I get really distracted by just scrolling through social media on my iPhone. Even though I barely watch TV, this is something that also wastes a good chunk of time when you add it all up. Instead of doing homework, I might just lay down on my bed and scroll through Facebook or look through my Instagram feed, or watch videos of cute babies or something. This habit is definitely because of how easy it is to get distracted with technology these days. When I was younger, or even two years ago, I did not yet have a smartphone so scrolling through Facebook while laying down in bed is something I didn't even have an option of doing. The effects this has on my life is that there is a lot of time wasted that I could be using to better myself and work on my goal. If I changed this, I feel like I'd be a lot closer to doing the job I want.

2. One of the self-defeating thought patterns I have is that I wonder if I have the discipline to be a web designer or am even good enough to do it. When I have a lot of time my brain goes to this and it thinks further down the road and looks at a future where it is not possible. What may have caused this is that there are so many adults who are not doing what they love, so I think about that and how it could definitely be an outcome for me. This has caused me to be unsure when I start tasks that work toward my goal. If I improved this pattern, I could probably get more stuff done that has to do with my goal and get further and further.

21

1. Earlier this year I was off course in my work life because I took offense to a lot of things and took everything too seriously. I was making choices that was all about myself, or rather thinking about only myself, in these work situations and not about other people around me. I started going to church and giving my life to God, and that's what helped me get back on course. It was definitely difficult making changes in my daily life to calm down and just acknowledge that I need to put everyone else before myself. I was able to stick with going to church with my good friends and being in that positive environment gave me weekly reminders about what is most important in life. As a result of this change, I became a lot happier of a person and even though I did go through struggles during that season of my life, the most important thing is that I found what I actually wanted from life. If I hadn't made this change, I definitely feel like I might be depressed today.

2. Today, I am off course in learning web design, which is what I want to do as a career. I finally left that job I was at and realized it wasn't as important to me as I thought it was. It was a fun place to work but it largely hindered what I actually wanted to do. After getting to know God I realized that money isn't as important as I think it to be and I need to just slow down and look at my priorities. I wanted to work as much as I could just to get the number in my bank account higher. After realizing that wasn't what was making me happy, I knew I had to leave my job and now I am going to work on myself and teach myself skills that'll get me the job that I would love to have in the future.

20

1. B.

Dear Lisa,
I'm having a lot of trouble in College Algebra. I need to pass this class because it is required for UCF's Digital Media degree. I want to be a Web Designer and it is very important to me. If I get that degree it will most likely be a lot easier to get jobs in the field. My obstacle is that I am terrible at understanding almost every math concept. I know you have succeeded in math classes and I think you can help me. In the past you have helped me so I am hesitant because we are sisters and fight easily. However, please help me in my math endeavors. I need you to go over homework with me and teach me the problems, then make sure I have it right by having me do practice problems over and over again.

2. I haven't been particularly assertive. I'm not trying to rush and I also want to learn Web Design concepts as that is my true goal. I can learn that outside of school because the internet is an amazing resource, so I am not going to put more weight than I want to on math. It has affected my self esteem as I am now more comfortable with myself. I want to level more and blame less, and make requests where I need to in order to get closer to my dream.

19

I walked to the back for the fifth time to get a drink of water, but did I let my shift leader know? No. Even though this isn't the nicest thing to do in a restaurant even though all of the guests have been taken care of, I've been upset because the shift leader hasn't said a word to me the entire night. Working in this food court can get a little busy sometimes but as the assistant to the shift leader I really should be told when she is leaving and where she is going when she's going to be gone for ten or more minutes at a time.
This time when I went in the back, she followed me. Machines were beeping all around me as they were cooking chicken and the boys were busying themselves. All of a sudden, she yelled at me. This was the first thing to me she has said all night and she was screaming that I need her permission to get a drink. I felt so disrespected. If a shift leader doesn't want to talk and ignore me when I try to communicate about what is happening, then I am not going to ask permission to get some water if she is mad for no reason.

I walk to the back again to get a drink of water. I haven't been asking the shift leader if I can do this, but since she hasn't been communicating with me the whole night, I don't care to. She is not treating me like her assistant as I am supposed to be. She should be letting me know when she is leaving and where she is going -- especially if that is going to be longer than 10 minutes.
But this time when I went in the back, she followed me. The boys were all working and cooking food. She then apologized to me and told me her emotions were getting to her and that's why she hasn't talked to me all night. She explained she has tasks for me to do and again said that she's sorry for the way she's been acting. She then asked if I could let her know each time I got a drink because it is helpful to her when she knows where all of the service workers are at all times. I forgave her and then told her I could definitely do that, and for the rest of the night we were able to communicate and I told her when I was going to get a drink. I felt really respected and closing went much smoother.

18

ME: I'm failing math and I don't know how to manage my time with the assignments.
IG: Can you elaborate? (Expansion)
ME: I have so much homework between all my classes and working most of the week so that I value my free time over doing math.
IG: So you mostly need help with managing your time? (Clarification)
ME: Yeah. I keep a planner but it's hard for me with having over 10 assignments every week within all my classes that it's hard to put in time to study.
IG: I see. (Silence)
ME: I wish I could be one of those studious people but when it comes to math I feel like I cannot fit everything into my week.
IG: So it feels like you lack time? (Reflection)
ME: Yes.
IG: Maybe if you eliminate the time you put in to other aspects of your life, then math won't seem as daunting.

2. I learned that I really really hate math and I cannot stand it. I love planners and planning but it's still hard to keep up with. I want to do all my assignments when I have them planned for it, but other events and my social life often gets in the way and it's tough to do all that. I've realized my time is going crazy this semester so I've actually already let my job know I'm leaving. My last day will be tomorrow. It'll help me focus on school and it's really sad that I have to leave, and because money is important to save, but at this time it is all just too tough. Math is a crazy subject for me this semester and even though I wanted to pass, and I did try, that my efforts were just not worth. College Algebra is too difficult a class for me and I may be attempting it for a third time next semester. All will be well though.

17

1. An outer obstacle that stands between me and my success in college is a teacher that has a heavy accent and a lack of time because of work.

2. Someone besides me who could help me overcome this outer obstacle is my sister.

3. How this person could help me is by teaching me math.

4. An inner obstacle that stands between me and my success in college is my lack of motivation for subjects that I do not care for.

5. Someone who could help me overcome this inner obstacle is my mom.

6. How this person could help me is by reminding me to do my work and that it has to be done even if I don't like it.

7. The most challenging course I am taking this semester is College Algebra.

8. This course is challenging for me because it's hard for me to understand and comprehend math concepts and I cannot for the life of me understand why I need to know any of it. Success Strategies I feel like is so much more beneficial to the general public.

9. Someone besides me who could help me overcome this challenge are math tutors.

10. These people could help me by teaching me math. 

2. I could get a study group together with all of the people I know and friends I know who aren't or haven't succeeded in math. I could also get a math tutor and have my mom encourage me and support me. I don't want to do any of this though, it is too much work and I have my eyes set on different things that seem better to me.